A more serious side of the Queen of Hysteria…..

Hi, all unknown readers!
I honestly have no idea if anyone out there is reading my blog, but I’ve decided to share a few of my writings from classes in my undergraduate and more currently, my graduate work. Some will find these essays totally boring, some will find them thought provoking, but it’s my hope it will help hone my witness skills as well.

Yesterday was Steve’s (my dear hubby) birthday. Poor guy had to work all day so his staff could have much deserved time off so I had him a cheese cake with birthday candles waiting on him when he got home. Happy Birthday, baby!

My house projects have been on hold lately but I’ve come to the realization that the procrastination of completing my sort & toss organization and spring cleaning of our home is not only depressing and stifling but it is paralyzing as well. So even if it is only 30 minutes every day, one task will be worked on towards the completion of our home being turned into our refuge.

I’ll continue to write about daily life as well, but since I have deeper thoughts I want to introduce a more serious side to my blog as well. So without further adieu’, here’s the first devotion that I wrote in Worship Studies during undergrad.

this devotional was written May, 2009, shortly before Payton's birthday.

Love Lifted Me

“Smile… it increases your face value!” This is especially true when we as Christians are down in the mud pit. March 1 of last year, our family lost our youngest member to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). The name is very appropriate since nine-month old Payton went to bed after a fun night of play with Daddy and his big sister, Madison. Our family members have been left with large holes in our hearts and a lot of “Whys?”
We will never have the answer to the question “Why?” I have spent a number of nights since Payton’s death, walking the floor, crying to God and asking “Why?” “I was worn out calling for help; my throat is parched.

“My eyes fail, looking for my God” (Psalms 69:3). As the days grew into weeks, and now the weeks are growing into months, God has been working on my heart. My grief is so very deep over this dear little grandson, but my thirst for God has overcome the anger I had over losing such a sweet grandchild.
I sat in Wednesday Bible study for the first time in 2 months since Payton’s death; my heart closed and my spirit wounded. That Sunday, I felt God’s hand on my heart. The rip in it was mending. I was able to sing the praise and worship songs, hear the message and hold God’s word close to my heart.

When we are struggling in the pit of despair, it is so important to draw near to the Lord. When we are in the deepest mire of the pit, we should praise God and be thankful for all He has done for us! Paul prayed and sang hymns to God in prison. Prison was not as comfortable as it is now in Paul’s day. Even in the depths of a Roman prison, Paul was able to sing praises and worship God. This wonderful open spirit brought a prison guard and his family to salvation (Acts 16: 25-30).

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2Co 1:3). God is a God of tenderness, mercy, and comfort. He is a God “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2Co 1:4). He will give us comfort so that we can heal, and go forward to be better witnesses for Him and to comfort those in pain and despair greater than ourselves.

As I sat listening to the music in church Sunday night, I knew I was worn out with grief, anger, and despair. As our young minister of music led the congregation through various songs, until he got to “Love Lifted Me” I was able to keep my heart and my feet still. I was determined not to show any emotion, just get through the service, which was my goal.

1. I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore,

Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more,

But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry,

From the waters lifted me, now safe am I.

o Refrain:

Love lifted me!

Love lifted me!

When nothing else could help,

Love lifted me!

2. All my heart to Him I give, ever to Him I’ll cling,

In His blessed presence live, ever His praises sing,

Love so mighty and so true, merits my soul’s best songs,

Faithful, loving service, too, to Him belongs.

o Refrain:

Love lifted me!

Love lifted me!

When nothing else could help,

Love lifted me!

3. Souls in danger look above, Jesus completely saves,

He will lift you by His love, out of the angry waves.

He’s the Master of the sea, billows His will obey,

He your Savior wants to be, be saved today.

o Refrain:

Love lifted me!

Love lifted me!

When nothing else could help,

Love lifted me!

Before the chorus the first time, I was on my feet, feeling the grief, anger and hardness melting. When you are deep in the mire of the pit of despair, when you are in pain and distress, God is there. “…Praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving” (Psalms 69:30).

New Year goals should be made in the Spring.

Spring….you know, instead of making goals or resolutions in the dead of winter in January, we should make our goals and resolutions in the spring of the year.  What better time to make goals but as the dogwood trees, iris, and daffodils are blooming in all their glory? So, here’s my goals for the three months.  Today I am setting a deadline for myself that I will complete this list by July 1, 2010.  Although this is a tall order, it gives me a definite deadline.  I work better with deadlines so I’m putting these into effect as of today, April 5, 2010. 

·         Start each day with the Lord, prayer and Bible study

·         Read my Bible daily

·         Write something daily:  journal, blog, or book chapters

·         Order business cards & office supplies for Life Coaching

·         Make a flyer for small group for abortion

·         Finish sorting and tossing in the house

·         Clean the bird barn and set it up like Nanny’s old playhouse

·         Sort and toss the storage building

·         Sort and toss the potting shed

·         Begin the zone work each week as prescribed by FlyLady

·         Clean the yard of limbs

·         Weed the flower beds

·         Prune the shrubbery and roses

·         List books and fabric in eBay store

·         Pot little Disney plants

·         Put away all Christmas décor

·         Wash curtains

·         Make new curtains as needed in each room

 

 

I was listening to the TV spiritual channels this morning.  Joyce Meyer was speaking about letting your soul going on vacation, even though you are physically or emotionally going through hard times.  I think instead of my soul, it is really allowing my spirit to be on vacation each day.  It is so difficult to let go and let God.  What a cliché’ but what truth there is within those words.  So often we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders and we don’t have to shoulder the world or the world’s problems.  Jesus said, “…my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mat 11:30).  I am a natural worrier; just ask my children and husband.  I read a story last year that stuck with me.. 

 

A man had been told by God to take 3 rocks up to the top of the mountain.  The These rocks had been troublesome to the man and God wanted him to unload these problems. 

The Man thought what an easy task. The day is beautiful and sunny.  I’ll pull the wagon up the mountain in no time.  As he left his home, his wife gave him several of her rocks.  His son

dropped a rock or two in the wagon.  The load was a little heavier but still ok.  Man continues down the road, whistling as he walked with the wagon behind him.  His neighbor saw him with the wagon and asked him to take his two rocks to save himself a trip.  The Man agreed; after all, it was the neighborly thing to do.  As he crossed the bridge into town, he ran into the mayor and the pastor.  They both had several rocks they had been meaning to take to the top of the mountain.  Could he possibly take them with him?  The man took the rocks into his wagon and left town.  The longer he pulled, the hotter he got.  What was God thinking giving him this heavy load to carry all the way up that mountain?  Halfway up the mountain, Man stopped wiped his brow.  “Lord, why did you give me this heavy load on such a hot day?”  The Lord responded, “I only told you to carry your 3 rocks to the top of the mountain, so that they would not trouble you anymore.  You chose to pick up your wife and son’s rocks; your neighbor, the pastor and the mayor’s rocks.  The burden I asked you to carry was “easy and light.””